I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
