i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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