just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
