Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
