I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
