I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
