Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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