I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
