Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
