your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
