Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
