Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
