Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
