Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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