Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
