On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize