Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize