I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
