You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
