I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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