are you still at the devil's house?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize