No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize