mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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