you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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