He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
