Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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