We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
