FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
