she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
