Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
