....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
