is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You are the jesus of drinking
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
