i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
