Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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