Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
