Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
