I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
