Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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