she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
