I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize