So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
