I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
