Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
