just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize