Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
