Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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