Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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