what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
