On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
