Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
