1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
