do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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