i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
