i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
