In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
