Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
