swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
