I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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