Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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