you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
