I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
