I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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